It's "Bottles and Cans", Not "Bottles and Can'ts"

It's Sunday. I actually had the day off, which is rare. Normally I work weekends. I hate Sundays. I still remember having to get up early to go to church as a kid, and we didn't have cable so all the shows and outdated movies on TV sucked. So, to continue the suckiness of Sundays I returned bottles/cans today. One thing you should understand is that I drink a lot of beer. And other bottled beverages. Mostly beer though. And I dread returning them because it's such a pain in the ass, so I put it off until my collection is out of control. I always try to look presentable when doing it because here in NY we have those machines that you feed bottles into one at a time, and because I have two cart loads of fucking Keystone light I would rather that the passing shoppers think twice before they assume I'm a homeless alcoholic.
There is a bottle return etiquette that most people fail to recognize. Please separate your glass, plastic and aluminum. I'm gonna be there all fucking day anyway, I don't need some asshole with a shopping bag full of all three types of recyclables taking up three machines at once while I stand there hoping that I don't see someone I know. Also if the machine is full, don't stand there bitching while it beeps. Go press the goddamn bell so one of the associates can empty it so I don't have to listen to you bitch and the machine beep. Lastly, don't put bottles in the machine with limes, cigarette butts etc. still in them. I'm not sure if it messes up the machine or effects the recycling process, but it's fucking gross. Seriously. On a more positive note, I'm $35 richer because of my drinking and efforts. Yes, $35. Happy Sunday.